Sharkbait oohaha

I bought a fish tank for my dorm.
I bought a fish to go with the fish tank.
It was a big fat ugly fish too.
I don't know why I bought it,
I guess I felt bad for it.

I brought it up to school,
and everyone got excited.
It's just a big fat ugly fish.
My friend bought me a frog to put in the tank.
My other friend bought me a seahorse.
Yay! I was so excited!

I went out that night with everyone.
When I came back,
I went to the fish tank.
The big fat ugly fish turned into a big fat ugly snake.
And it ate the seahorse!
I cried.
The frog was still alive.
My sister's friends came over
and said it was stupid of me to cry over a seahorse.
Fuck you.

When In Rome...

So my music history teacher hooked me up with a ticket to Italy.
I went to Rome to play for the King.
He dubbed me child prodigy.

So the King hooked me up with a ticket for England.
I was on the plane with a bunch of other child prodigies.
We were all going to prodigy music school.
This big fat man told us we had to practice our instruments on the plane.
This one girl was sleeping instead.
She had a huge pimple I noticed.
The fat man woke her up and told her to step in his office.

This Lonely Brownbird

I bought a house with two of my friends from AcaBellas.
Actually, they bought the house,
I just showed up with a hammock.

As I got older,
I turned it into a residential care facility.
Brownbird Rudy Relic lived there.
He played and sang everyday on his rocking chair.

Injun Hollow

My friend Baret is having a going away party.
He's leaving for the airforce.

I was driving to Haddam Neck,
but I forget where exactly he lives.
As I'm driving, I see familiar landmarks.
I take a left, I know I have to take a left here.
But the sign says do not enter. Danger.
I take a left anyway,
I do not know any other short cut.
I'm driving up the road,
and drive right into a river.
I get myself out and drive back down.
How do I get to his house?

I'm back where I started.
I decide to take another familiar looking road.
However, I end up in a NYC parking garage.
I very young Patrick Dempsey,
(think of the movie Can't buy Me Love),
stops me. He's hot. So we flirt.
He buys me skittles from the vending machine,
and directs me towards Baret's house.

I finally get to Baret's, but the party was over.
Baret was playing frisbee with Danny DeVito,
and Danny said I should stop by another day.
My friend Dave Baklik was there, and offered to drive me home.
At this point, my car was MIA.

So Dave drives me back to his place.
We enter his bedroom,
and he pushes me on the bed.
Sexy.
He takes his shirt off,
also sexy.
Then he picks up a guitar?
Last time I checked,
he did not know how to play.
I eat my skittles.

typical.

I got a passport.
Why?
I'm going to the 'jungles' of Chad
DUH

Also, I have 3 roomates, 2 of which are guys.
Katie now sleeps on the desk.
typical.
The other 2 guys and I have triple bunk beds.

I also took a walk in the woods and got lost.
Thank God I randomly found my car near a tree stump.

Why Anders is my BFF

My friend Anders lived in an apartment near Disney.
I parked in the parking lot and went to visit him.
I went inside and his grandma was there,
she told me Anders was in his room.
I went in and he told me that he'll hang out with me later;
his girlfriend was coming over.
He told me to go walk around in Disney
and he would catch up with me later.

So I was walking around in Mickey's neighborhood.
I was almost at the end of the street
where I could either turn left or right.
I wanted to turn right,
but there was a mean giraffe standing there.
I heard that if anyone tried to pass him,
he would eat that person.
I did not know what to do,
I really wanted to turn right.

I decided to take a right anyways.
However, as I was about to turn,
the giraffe was getting closer and closer.
Out of nowhere, Anders yells my name.
He runs and grabs me and tells me to come over.
He said "My girlfriend's gone."

Then we turn around and walk down a hill,
and some bear sprays us with a water hose.
We were wet.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears...WTF

I was sitting in the corner of my floor in my old apartment
watching some horror film. My aunt and cousin came over,
and my dad told me I was in the way.

I drove away with three of my friends.
We were on a mountain, it was foggy.
The car breaks down and we don't know what to do.
We walk into the woods. It's dark and eerie.
We finally see light and an opening up ahead.

There is a huge clearing, a huge field, with wildlife.
I see antelopes jumping around.
They don't notice me, I'm so close I can almost touch them.
A lion is casully eating his meal.
I turn around, my friends are gone.

I hear a stampede, and I turn around.
My friends are on rhinoceros, looking for me.
They grab me and we end up at a beautiful big house.
A car is pulling up the driveway,
so we run and hide behind some trees.
A raccoon bites my friend in the arm.