Ticking Away the Moments That Make Up A dull Day

I had 3 very important task to complete in 2 hours:

-take a test
-get married
-clean a house

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

Went on a cruise with my family.
Received a phone call from Brent.
He told me he was dying.
I was the only one who could save him.
Tom Hanks was the only one who knows how to save him.
I had 3 days to find Tom Hanks and save Brent.

WHAT THE HELL.

Asked my dad what I should do.
He told me Tom Hanks was on the cruise.
I walked up to Tom Hanks.
He told me I need to kill and octopus.
He told me I had to cut it open.
He told me I had to eat its heart.
He told me that is the only way Brent can be saved.
He told me that life was like a box of chocolates.

Nightmare on Lake Ave.

Slept over Brent's house.
Woke up and realized
I somehow got there with two vehicles.
I did not understand how this could have happened.

I called my mother,
maybe she could help me figure this one out?
nope.
She was upset that I interrupted her
while she was star gazing with her telescope.
Told me I got to Brent's in two cars,
and I can come back in two cars.

How is this even possible?
how can I bring back two cars at the same time?
worst day ever.

EDF

woke up in Cy's basement
next to empty beer cans
and bodies sprawled
all over the floor.

went upstairs to go to the bathroom,
tripped over some more bodies,
stepped in vomit.

walked back downstairs and found myself in a cave.
This cave was full of giant ants.
giant.red.ants.
my buddy joe ran up to me
in a suit of armor,
told me I need to start killing these ants.
He branded me with an E
so therefore I am now officially part of EDF.
LONG LIVE EDF.
and not ants.